It is a truth universally acknowledged that the most awkward thing in the world is being in a car, or any close quarters, with a stranger, any person you don’t really know. In that silence, that emptiness of context, we can imagine every kind of worst-case scenario: Kidnapping, cult initiations, forced stomach stapling.
But it isn’t strangers we should spend so much time worrying about.
It’s the people we know who we might need to be more careful of, particularly if they are male and drunk and you are a foreign-born female. So the next time you are in the car with a stranger, please consult this list of threats you should actually be freaked out about.
Use it to make interesting conversation. It will certainly break the tension and get your mind off all those absurd scenarios we spend way too much time worrying about.
1. Unchecked Anger
We are decent beasts until anger blinds us.
2. Cars
We like to get sick with fear when we board airplanes or strap into roller coasters. But the real villains in our national tragedy are our precious automobiles. Over 40,000 people die a year on the road. That’s almost fifteen 9/11s every single year.
3. Male Family Members and Friends
(Especially if they are drunk and you are young foreign born)
It’s the strange man we fear—the footsteps in the dark—the unlocked back door. The correct part of the constant American crime fantasy is that it is usually a man hunting us. Approximately 90% of all murders are committed males. But stop worrying so much about strangers you don’t know and think about the strangers you know. Too often, we invite our predators in and offer them a drink. The leading cause of death for black women from 18-45 is domestic violence. The New York Health Department found that lovers committed 60% of all murders of women. Young foreign-born women were 87% more likely to be killed by a lover than a stranger. Females are much more likely to be victimized by someone they know. Strangers committed about 14% of all murders in 2002 while a family member or an acquaintance committed 43%. Family members commit two-thirds of murders of children under five. Two-thirds of violent crimes committed by acquaintances involved alcohol. Think about that at your next dinner party.
4. People of Your Own So-called Race
An extension of our narcissism is the belief that people who are like us are sane. But it’s the people who are most like us who are mostly likely to kill us. Blacks murdered more than 90% black murder victims. White criminals murdered more than 80% of white murder victims. I’m not saying strangers are safer than the people we know; I’m just saying they might be.
5. Your Appendix and Gallbladder
God or the creator packed us with more extra parts than IKEA ever would. Look out for these ticking time bombs inside your body. That stomach cramp may be the beginning of something very, very bad.
5. Fast Food
Heart disease is the leading cause of preventable death. We all know that each cigarette takes about thirteen minutes off of our lives. How about each French Fry? Each Biggie Shake?
6. Every Chemical/ Cigarettes
If you can’t stop breathing in all the crap in the air around you, please, at least, stop smoking.
7. Pro-Lifers
Good Christians are good for society, right? Well, large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973. Pro-Lifers could also be called Pro-Enabling-the-Birth-of-Fatherless-Poor-Males-Who-Will-Likely-End-Up-Murdering-An-Aquiantance-Especially-If-They-Drink.
8. Detroit
This probably goes without saying, but there are some places where fearing a stranger makes sense. Detroit, for instance. “In Detroit, there were 41.79 murders per 100,000 people in 2002. This is alarmingly way above the national average rate of 5.6 for the same year.” (crime.org)
41 comments ↓
“large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973″
Nope. Do some actual research.
“large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973″
Yep. Well-researched.
“large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973″
It’s true! I read it on a website! Internetz for teh win.
I don’t think research is necessary. It’s intuitively obvious that forcing people, especially poor people, to have children they don’t want and know they can’t properly support will lead to troubled lives and crime.
It’s plain common sense, you don’t need “research”.
We should be worried about every chemical? Including H2O and O2?
Without wanting to get into the a debate, you can find a citation for the study that is the basis of the claim in the book Freakanomics.
“large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973″
This was an argument presented in Freakanomics IIRC. I don’t recall the details but it was somewhat convincing to me at the time.
The abortion thing is well-researched. Try reading Freakonomics sometime.
No, research is necessary. Intuitively obvious things often turn out to be wrong. Fortunately, the abortion thing has been well-researched and there is a lot of evidence that it is a factor in the reduction of crime. Read the book Freakonomics, it goes into the survey in detail.
Hmmm. Maybe we should euthanize poor people. You know . . . for our own safety. And alcoholics, and bad drivers. And Detroit.
Well, around 1973 they were also eliminating lead from gasoline. I’ve seen that attributed to decline in crime as well.
I, too, am intrigued by your claim that crime is related to abortion. Can you reference your sources?
So, um, who is forcing them to have kids? As I recall, we been throwing contraceptives at them for decades…. At risk of sounding cold and heartless (and I’m really not), why are they having kids they can’t/won’t support? Why should we encourage them to express sexual freedom with multitudes of people when they show ZERO self-control, responsibility or restraint?
#5 - We should *especially* worry about dihydrogen oxide. It’s deadly when inhaled in liquid form. As for oxygen….
One more thing to worry about: correctly numbering a numbered list.
The Freakonomics explanation of the relationship between crime and abortion is well rebutted in Freedomnomics. (see link above) There are more poor fatherless males now than ever. There are other explanations for the reduction in crime rates.
I’ve always wondered how much Sesame Street had to do with lowered crime rates. Seriously. It’s been exported to other countries (with their own spin on the show) in hopes of lowering rates of violence as well as increasing literacy/education rates. I need to read Freakanomics. Was PBS included in their research?
Some citations would lend much needed credibility to this post.
Credibility wasn’t really my point. I hold these truths to be self-evident.
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“large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973″
Of course the Christian Right (which is most certainly UN-Christian) is going to have a field day with that. I mean, these are the same people who support the death penalty. Sadly, it’s all political. The Christian Right is very WRONG.
Thanks for writing this, Peter. Very interesting.
So often, we’re our own worst enemies. People are terrible at estimating unlikely risks. You should also add:
9) Guns and yourself. ESPECIALLY if you’re a white male. A white male is 3 times more likely to commit suicide by a gun than to be shot to death by someone else. 13,700 to 4,200 deaths in 2005.
Funny, since I think they’re the ones most likely to buy a gun for ‘protection’.
-A White Male Gun Owner
P.S. Yes, NRA members, I know there’s an argument to be made that guns are used as a psychological tool to prevent crime more often than to actually shoot a criminal. If that were the case, you should own a gun but NO AMMUNITION.
P.P.S. http://webapp.cdc.gov/sasweb/ncipc/mortrate10_sy.html is a great place to kill a couple of hours.
Ahem. I propose:
The Worrie’s Almanac Guide
“Things You Should Actually Worry About”
–>> Revised Edition for Unborn Children
1. Getting sucked out of the womb with a vaccum.
2. Getting choped into pieces, the sucked out of the womb with a vaccum.
3. Getting pulled halfway out of the womb, and having your skull cracked open and your brains sucked out with a vaccum.
Somehow, I can’t bring myself to put “being born” on this list?
And, pursuant to the aformetioned worthy causes of Reducing the Crime Rate and Carbon Emissions and The Race of Men to Zero, I further propose the sterilization of all children upon reaching the age of eight years, starting tomorrow.
>Somehow, I can’t bring myself to put “being born” on this list?
Then you’ve been well parented. And you’re lucky.
>9) Guns and yourself. ESPECIALLY if you’re a white male. A white male is 3 times more likely to commit suicide by a gun than to be shot to death by someone else. 13,700 to 4,200 deaths in 2005.
Excellent suggestion.
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Mike: H20 and O2 are powerful corrosives. O2 is necessary for most explosives and is partly to blame for forest and home fires.
Other facts about H20 (dihydrogen monoxide or DHMO):
* Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
* Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
* Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
* DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
* Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
* Contributes to soil erosion.
* Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
* Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
* Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
* Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
* Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
* Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.
BTW, you fail at being a smartypants.
Using data from England and Wales, we test the hypothesis that legalizing abortion reduces crime. The
timing of changes in crime rates in aggregate data is generally inconsistent with this hypothesis. Using
panel data on recorded crime from 1983 to 2001, we are able to replicate the negative association between
abortion rates and reported crime that J. J. Donohue and S. D. Levitt found for the United States.
However, this association breaks down under the scrutiny of robustness checks and is not present when we
examine data on convictions broken down by age. Overall, we find no clear, consistent relationship
between abortion and crime in England and Wales.
That thing about abortion reducing crime rates is true. However, it’s not as simple as that, since one could argue that abortion is murder.
allthough I do not support abortion, I have to agree with what the article states. I work with the public in their homes, and often in poor areas you see that the people have many more kids than they can afford leading not only to them committing crimes to support their children but often also their habbits (drugs). While the wealthier families tend to have less children, and they can obviously afford to take care of them. The children of the lower class are overly abundant and cause all sorts of problems for me and for society. I hate abortion, but I suppose this is true.
Thar be twice as many 3’s in your list as there ought to be, my friend.
And who does a Top Nine, anyway?
Especially with such solid material to work with.
You’re obviously an underachiever.
“…large amounts of evidence show that the decrease in violent crime, which reached its lowest rate in 2005, can be directly attributed to the national legalization of Abortion in 1973.”
Ah, eugenics! Heil Hitler, Margret Sanger! We will build the master race!
I think it’s because so many people in this world are driven to desparation because of our elitist governments. I doubt that one ethnicity is more prone to violent crime than another but i do know that is some one higher up than you is fucking you over and they are not suffering the consequences because they have the power and money to avoid the penalty it can drive a perfectly sane person to do something they usually wouldn’t.
Never mind guns, its the fetuses we should be concerned about.
If you were all to do some research for once I think you’d find that 95% of violent murders committed in the US are done by the unborn.
Kill them before they get us, thats what I’ll stand by.
Tho Shalt Not Make Noise For Detroit….
Assuming the legalisation of abortion did reduce crime, there are still other problems with that statement.
1) You’re a bit vague with the words “violent crime”, abortion was previously crime, so legalising it will obviously reduce the crime. Maybe you don’t mean that so…
2) How’s about we take the redical opinion that the unborn foetus is alive itself. If abortion didn’t happen, do the lives of those killed by the consequent violent crime outnumber the lives of the children who would otherwise have been aborted? I doubt it.
I am not pro-life, but I find it odd that you so easily label pro-life people as a thing to worry about. You could have perhaps avoided this debatey-thing by being a bit less harsh.
Pete Nicely: you’re a stooge. Go back under your rock idiot.
I don’t believe abortion reduced crime rates. I am very pro-abortion too. My personal observation is that the poorest people i see are the one NOT getting abortions…
Freakonomics was a complete piece of shit. Junk science. And I’m the furthest from being a conservative. Go find a real study about your abortion claims.
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